5.29.2011

pssst. christianity is a myth.

I grew up Catholic. I was baptised, indoctrinated, and confirmed. I was told to pray every night to a God who loved me, and I went to church every Sunday to eat the "body" of a dead man. I decorated the nativity scene during Christmas, and I even put ashes on my fucking head for Ash Wednesday. The whole time--even as a toddler--I knew that it was all a huge crock of shit.
First of all, the whole fucking premise of Christianity is based on the Bible. Anyone who actually reads this fucking thing will understand two things; 1. It was written by ancient desert dwellers. 2. It's a fucking fairy tale. And not only is it a fairy tale, it's a fairy tale that was told thousands of times before! The idea of a son of god, virgin birth, holy trinity, etc, has been repeated in pagan religions for thousands of years before the supposed "events" of the bible. As if all of that isn't enough to convince you that the Bible is bullshit, just take a look at all of the interpretations that people buy into. What makes one interpretation any better than another? If the bible is so fucking great then why can't you motherfuckers get your story straight? I'm looking at you now Mormons. Jesus lived in America. Yeah, and I bet he fucking spoke English too right?

Compounding this problem of mass ignorance is the fact that Christians have their own wing of the government called the "Republican Party." Most Republicans are white, Christian, racist, and hate poor people. Through these unifying interests, the Republicans are able to stay on message, and agree with each other most of the time. Thinking like a Republican is simple. Let's give it a try!
First, go to church. They're gonna tell you a lot of stuff about loving your enemy, and turning the other cheek. They might tell you that God loves the poor more than anyone else. They might tell you how Jesus preached having very little in the way of material possessions. They will certainly tell you to go forth and live in peace. Rule #1 is to PROMPTLY forget all of that shit when you leave the building. ESPECIALLY when you're going to the ballot box.

All Christian Republicans know: The "What Would Jesus Do" talk is for church. In the real world we need to kill people for oil(especially Muslims), deny healthcare to the poor, deny food stamps to young families, and above all else we must be good capitalists and not tax the rich. These people are so fucking blind, that they vote against their own economic interests!
If any Christians with half a fucking brain are reading this, please explain to me how the fuck you can justify violence in any form for any reason. If you hold up the bible as your example, then where the fuck do you get the justification? ...Oh. Hold on a moment. Seems the bible is just as violent as the fucking Quran. Would you look at that!

Click here for proof that the Bible and Quran suck pretty equally.

I'm done trashing Christians... For now.

15 comments:

  1. I agree with you a 100%, they should finally stop with this bullshit. Especially pushing their own beliefs on others, I hate that

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  2. Religion is the main reason of all conflicts:/

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  3. I can't help but laugh at the images, being an atheist and all...

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  4. I totally agree, haha. We grew up identically. Good read.

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  5. Agreed. I believe all of these religions have survived simply because of ths strictness surrounding then. I believe religion will slowly die away as more people become "enlightened" and start thinking logically

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  6. Born jewish, bar mitzvah'd-- and then became a staunch atheist.

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  7. I like this part of the joke.
    Got was afraid man would build a tower that could reach him. He made man speak in different languages. How brilliant is that?

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  8. Controversial stuff, love it! Keep up the good work, man.

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  9. writing a report on how religion is tax exempt because they are per definition charity organizations. I don't know if this applies everywhere though

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  10. First of all, you didn't grow up Christian, you grew up Catholic, which is a counterfeit to Christianity.

    As far as events like the virgin birth being part of other religions, the events in the pagan religions really don't have anything to do with the events in Christianity. Do your research.

    That other commenter who said religion is the source of all conflict should do their research, also.

    The Bible is interpreted numerous different ways because anything can be interpreted numerous different ways but that doesn't make the Bible untrue.

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