6.09.2011

stop buying apple computers (how to buy a laptop)

You fucking morons. You know who you are, sitting there reading my glorious blog on your fucking Mac.

Shut the "computer" off immediately, and sell that shit on craigslist quick! You can still recoup most of the cost of that furry piece of dog shit.

6.05.2011

i helped destroy the world economy

I was 20 years old and I needed a fucking job.

Very confident in my ability to sell anything--even something I didn't understand--I applied for a job as a Loan Officer with a company called Castle Point Mortgage. I had no fucking clue what I was doing.

This is the story of how I helped to severely damage the world economy.

6.01.2011

how to survive in jail

About 5 years ago I went to jail.  Not Prison, just jail. What is the difference? Jail is where you go before being sentenced. Prison is where you go after you've been sentenced. Prison is much tougher than jail. But to survive in prison, you need to learn how to survive in jail first.

You should keep in mind that I am a tall, young, skinny, white male. I was 22 when I went to jail, but I probably looked like I was 16. By all means, I should have been made someone's bitch within the first few hours. But, with some street smarts, a bit of acting, and some common sense, I made it out of jail with a tight butt-hole, and I even made some "friends." Keep reading to find out how to survive in jail...