5.26.2011

christopher columbus was a fucking terrorist

When I was a kid, my fat ass 4th grade teacher explained why we don’t come to school on Columbus Day. That fat whore. Her name was Ms. Guy. Seriously. Ms.-fucking-Guy. She was the size of a large refrigerator, with a dyke-bowl haircut, and a big fat mustache. She told us what a fucking hero Christopher Columbus was and how, through pure intentions and determination, Columbus convinced the throne to sanction his voyage to the West Indies. “We all owe Christopher Columbus a debt of gratitude,” is probably what the fat cow told us all. She forgot to mention was a dirty cocksucker Columbus was…


“They ... brought us parrots and balls of cotton and spears and many other things, which they exchanged for the glass beads and hawks' bells. They willingly traded everything they owned... . They were well-built, with good bodies and handsome features.... They do not bear arms, and do not know them, for I showed them a sword, they took it by the edge and cut themselves out of ignorance. They have no iron. Their spears are made of cane... . They would make fine servants.... With fifty men we could subjugate them all and make them do whatever we want.

This is an excerpt from a letter that Columbus wrote after arriving in the Caribbean. He was so impressed with the hospitality of the Arawak Indians, that he decided to enslave them. But why would Columbus enslave the Arawak? Wasn’t he a well-intentioned explorer? No. Cocksucker Columbus was in search of nothing but gold. He promised the throne that he would come back with a mountain of the shit. He even wrote back to Spain and told everyone that the Caribbean was a gold mine.

When the Indians couldn’t produce any gold, they were maimed and killed. These peaceful people, who would’ve gladly shared all they had with Columbus and his men were exterminated from the face of the planet. Unfortunately they were not the last. Following the arrival of Columbus, Indian tribes all over the Caribbean and the Americas were slaughtered for refusing to work, or for not producing enough gold.
Fat old pig fuckers like Ms. Guy are still glorifying this genocidal lunatic. And with the Texas board of education basically choosing the text books for the whole nation, it’s no wonder that the fate of the Arawak Indians is a fucking mystery to most Americans.

For a REAL lesson on the history of the United States, you must check out this link:


This is called “A People’s History of the United States,” by Howard Zinn. The entire text is available free online at this link. You owe it to yourself to learn about history from the point of view of the people rather than the through the eyes of conquerors. The first Chapter details who Chris Columbus really was, and each subsequent chapter will reveal even more truth about the history you thought you knew. You're Welcome.

49 comments:

  1. I can't believe what i have just read...

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  2. howard zinn, good stuff. read it about 2 semesters ago

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  3. He was a horrible man. It's hard to believe he has a holiday.

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  4. Yeah, that's pretty messed. Just goes to show how messed up our world is.

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  5. Lol! Ms.Guy, what the hell! Funny stuff, good blog. Like the name! followed!

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  6. I'm actually a big history-buff and really appreciate the link you provided. I already have it bookmarked and will be reading it while I eat lunch.

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  7. I hate this guy, I watched a movie about him on Discovery.

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  8. Ms.Guy sounds like a nice lady doesn't she? Lol. Our world was messed up since the start.

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  9. Yeah well I think everyone knows when the europeans landed they weren't exactly friendly, but noone ever calls them out haha :P

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  10. Hey hey I 'm a Hernán Cortés fan

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  11. I like the content of this blog. Good concept. History is written by the winners.

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  12. and he wasn't even the first one to discover the New World!

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  13. You should hear the true story of Thanksgiving.

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  14. Wow now i understand everything..

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  15. That's a unique view on stuff... wow, all the hate :p

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  16. that's really shameful stuff. More children in the world today should be educated about it

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  17. i love the way you phrase this. tasteful, witty, profane.

    You're my kind of guy

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  18. now that is some pretty messed up stuff!

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  19. Ms.Guy, what the hell! Funny stuff,

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  20. Nice post. You didn't even bring up all the people who found the west before Columbus did either.

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  21. haha thats a good interpretation

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  22. Oh God, man, that was fucking hilarious. I agree man, why do we often praise to our kids how great this dick was?

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  23. Yeah great read I am still laughing, screw this jerk give someone else his holiday

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  24. I thought this was common knowledge. The Europeans meant plunder with not pretense, and the English were the less brutal of them all.

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  25. as a north american indian, this was great to read!

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  26. And thus slavery was born in America. Good quote there from the man himself.

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  27. i think its funny how Columbus got syphilis from fucking a goat

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  28. This is the world we live in.

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  29. y u mad ? that's the basis of usa...slavery and robbing people blind...

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  30. Damn this puts some things into perspective!

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  31. This is why I celebrate Leif Eriksson day, fuck Columbus

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  32. Hahahahaha Ms. Guy really sucks, ahhaha take care man!

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  33. Dude what the fuck. Post us up more of this good shit. You greedy bastard, give us your hilarity >:O

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  34. Lovely blog and post! keep up the great work!

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  35. All europeans were nasty pigs back then...

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